Let’s Talk About Menopause (Because No One Really Prepared Us)

by Samantha Dubose, MS LMFT

This month, I’ve been thinking a lot about women’s health—especially perimenopause and menopause.

Growing up, I didn’t hear much about menopause from my mom or my aunts. It wasn’t something anyone really talked about. If it came up at all, it was usually just a quick mention of hot flashes or being a little moody. The general message was, “We were fine, you’ll be fine.” And that was kind of the end of it.

But now that I’ve moved into this stage of life myself, I’m realizing just how big of a transition this actually is—and how little we’re really prepared for it.

The Conversations We Never Had

When I started asking my friends about their experiences, something interesting happened. There was almost a sense of relief, like “Oh good, someone finally said it out loud.” It turns out so many of us have been quietly navigating changes in our bodies, moods, energy levels, and sense of self… without much space to talk about it.

It’s not just hot flashes. It’s sleep issues, brain fog, anxiety, feeling more emotional than usual, changes in our bodies, and sometimes feeling like we don’t quite recognize ourselves anymore. It can be confusing, frustrating, and honestly, a little isolating.

And yet, we’re expected to just carry on like nothing is happening.

Why It Can Feel So Hard

Even talking to doctors doesn’t always feel reassuring. A lot of women hear, “That’s normal,” without getting much guidance on what’s actually happening or what might help. There’s still a lot of stigma wrapped up in aging as a woman—at work, in healthcare, and even in how we talk to ourselves.

Somewhere along the way, menopause became tied to ideas about getting older, losing relevance, or no longer being “capable.” And that can really mess with how we experience this phase of life.

What’s Really Going On in Our Bodies

On a biological level, this is actually a pretty major shift. As estrogen levels change, it doesn’t just affect one part of the body—it affects a lot of systems at once. Estrogen plays a role in things like mood, memory, bone health, heart health, skin, and sexual health.

So when those levels drop, it makes sense that we might feel different in ways we can’t always explain. It’s not “in our heads.” Our bodies are genuinely adjusting to something new.

Why Talking About It Matters

Perimenopause and menopause aren’t something we should have to just “push through.” They’re real transitions, and they deserve real conversations, support, and understanding.

This isn’t the end of anything—it’s just another chapter. But like all big life changes, it’s a lot easier when we don’t feel alone in it.

The more we talk openly about this stage of life, the more we normalize it. And the more we normalize it, the easier it becomes for women to ask questions, seek support, and feel a little less crazy for what they’re experiencing.

Sometimes just knowing “it’s not just me” makes all the difference.